Friday, August 12, 2011


This is me. I need a push.  I am so stalled/dissapointed/frustrated right now.  And the crappy thing is, as much as I don't want it to, the push I need, the encouragement, the movement, it all has to come from me (not that I don't love and appreciate you all).

How is it that I KNOW these things, but it seems to do me no good?  This last week or two (in which i have been conspicuously absent, commenting, but not blogging) .. have been blah.  Bad food choices. Too much food. "Measuring? what's that?"  Yesterday for example. I wasn't really hungry all day (dunno why) .. but ended up eating a whole bacon cheeseburger (no bun) for dinner.  I could have probably gotten away with nussing.. or at the least just a quarter of it. But Head said "that looks good, you must eat it!" so I did.

My head is evil.  I get bored, I want to eat.  So I do.  It took me 3 days after saying I would to actually unpack my gym bag.  And the next day I forget to put it in my car.  My weight hasn't gone up.. but it hasn't really gone down either.  This just discourages me, which sends me into my cycle of "nothings working, why bother trying" ..  I KNOW this.. but somehow am not got at stopping this cycle once it starts.

I just need to do it.  It being exercise.  IT being measure my food, and stop after a cup (I'm pretty sure I won't be hungry after that).  IT being drink water at home.  IT being stop making excuses.. Sure I left my gym bag at home, but it's all of 8 minutes from my house to the gym, no reason I couldn't have gotten my stuff and then gone.   Sure I ate crap yesterday (and too much of it) but that doesn't mean I should eat crap today.

Each day is a new day and the only person who chooses what kind of day it will be is me.  Time for me to grow a pair and make it what I want it to be.  (Although if I could borrow a few of Draz's skittles and rainbows that'd be awesome!)



  1. This is a tough one girl. We know what we SHOULD be doing, we know how to do it...for whatever reason though it just doesn't click sometimes. The thing to remember is, TODAY is a new day. Right now is a new time. Make that investment in yourself to get out and get a walk in, or get to the gym or whatever you need to do and MEASURE your food tonight. Also - if you can, get the trigger foods and the junk out of the house all together. Just thoughts dear, you CAN do this, I know you can succeed. You just have to (unfortunately) put in the effort. And it's worth it. Trust me.

  2. I've been in this exact same spot before. It's no fun. :(

    I know you'll find your way out of the maze soon enough... just keep swimming!

  3. Oh sweetie, I HEAR's the most frustrating thing when you know exactly what you need to do, and you just can't get yourself to do it in the moment. But I completely agree with Cat - every moment is a moment to seize control, and be in control in of your life at that moment. That's all we've got. I found that if I could myself to say "no" to something not on my program just once, it got easier and easier to say it, and live it. Also, if you can just take it one meal, one snack at a time, that might help you feel more in control - I know I get overwhelmed when I think too far ahead...hope that helps. And when in doubt, I'm sending you a big ol' hug...

  4. Hey, I just scrolled down too far and saw your little list of 8 things WE need to do ... it's kinda cute looking :) Look back at your progress ... each meal is a new chance to start again ... WE can do it !! p.s. can you please email me your thoughts on sending the dress? Thanks !

  5. Very belated hugs from me!! Sorry that I didn't see this when it was posted, I am a terrible blog friend! I'm so glad you are feeling better xo