Friday, April 6, 2012

Discouraged, and it's all my fault

Blah,

For some reason this morning I got really down on my band.  Maybe seeing several people getting revisions to the sleeve, or maybe just the stagnating weight-loss, or the gaining back of my magical 5lb loss.. or all of the above.

I had toyed with the idea of getting the sleeve in the first place, it just seemed a little too new to me.  Not enough info out there  yet.  Of course this morning I was all "maybe I should look into a revision".. like a  year is enough to make a difference in that.  But this morning I was all "does kaiser do revisions? do they cover them? would I have to self pay? etc"

Speaking of, I haven't even been banded a year yet, so I KNOW that I'm not a failure, that I've plenty of time to lose more weight, etc.  But I just FEEL like all progress has stopped.  Of course if that's the case, that's my fault, not the bands fault.  I'm pretty sure I've been the laziest/worst bandster ever, and should probably consider myself lucky to have lost the 70+ lbs that i have lost.  I rarely exercise, I eat way more than I should.  Potato chips and ice cream have been great friends of mine.. not because I need to eat sliders.. just cause I can.

I know that I don't NEED a revision surgery.. Hopefully I never will ($$$)  .. I just need to pull my cr@p together and actually do what I'm supposed to do.

le sigh,
Sam

3 comments:

  1. Oh, girl. I hear ya! I'm really bummed today myself. I gained .4 lbs this week. I haven't been going as long as you and have only lost 56 lbs. and have about another 150 to go! Which is why I'm so damn defeated. Yes, I ate some jellybeans this week, but good Lord. I use to eat a LOT more. Why is the weight not coming off? I guess we just have to keep plugging along and the weight will come off. This is why we have wonderful people here in blogland to help us keep plugging on!

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  2. hang in there. I know it's tough. I had the sleeve but my brother had the band and he's lost 250 pounds. I know whatever you decide in the end you will be victorious!!!!

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  3. Oh Samantha, call me selfish, but I was SO HAPPY to read your post because I am feeling exactly how you're feeling! We are not failures, we just need to get back on track. We can do this!! We've come a long way with not a lot of work at all, now we just need to put more effort into it. I have 6 weeks of nursing school left and then you better believe I will be doing ALL I can to lost that weight. We've come this far! Lets not give up now!!

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