This one still blows my mind.

Bride's Brother, My Brother, Sis-in-Law, Me, my Hubby

So not pretty.  Not saying I'm all that now, but I KNOW I look better than I did less than a year ago.

Sorry was just perusing facebook and came across this and shuddered.  Hooray for progress!

<3
Sam

Unofficial (late) weigh in

No picture, and this is a quicky, but on Sunday on my mom's scale (mine is still broken) I weighed 228.5.  So still (slowly) going down! huzzah!

coming up on sunday is a day to resist (yeah right) temptation.  We all have to work fri/sat/sun due to the Occupy _______ (your city here) protesters.  So they're planning a grilled cheese day on friday.  I haven't had grilled cheese in soooo long.  probably even years before surgery.  Sounds sooo good.  *sigh* but i'm pretty sure two pieces of bread won't feel so good.  Ah well.

That's all I've got for now.  I'm "working"  :)

<3 Sam

Too young to fall apart!!

Argh!! I though things were supposed to get better as I lose weight!  Last night as I was undressing for bed I did something to my knee.  It still hurts this morning.  It's not "OMG ow!" crippling pain, but it's there every time I try to extend it fully, or move it in any direction other than straight front and back.  My walk to work this morning was, slower and a bit limpy.   Last night it felt almost "mushy" .. that's the first word that came to mind to describe it.   I'm pretty sure this isn't good, but I'm hoping it goes away.

You throw this on top of my right elbow pain that's been going on for maybe a month now, and the plantar fasciitis that still flares up, you'd think my body is conspiring to keep me from moving ever.  blah.

The thing that bugs me about my knee is that i haven't been doing anything fancy.  Just walking mostly, and then i'm undressing (maybe I twisted funny?) and boom!! ow!

Blah, just ranting and annoying is all I am. Sorry bout that.

<3,
Sam

Still here!

I'm still here, I promise!  been a little busy  lately,  busy at work, busy at home.  Dog walkies take up time in the evenings.  Which is a good thing :)

No weigh in this week. My scale seems to be broken.  Unless I magically lost 230lbs and now weigh 0.0lbs.   I  put a new battery in and everything and 0.0.  This makes me sad.  And also aware of how much of a scale whore I was being.  I actually felt a little be of anxiety the first couple of days of broken scale. *sigh*  I can't find anything in the manual or on the internet  as to why it's stuck on 0 .. or how to fix it.  Looks like a scale might be in the budget for soon.

No scale might not be a bad thing.  On Saturday we went to dinner at a NICE Italian place for my friends birthday.  It's a bit pricey, but OMG was it worth it.  And I splurged. I had a choclatini. it was yummy! And chicken caccatori which was sooooo good.  and a dessert coffee that was probably more alcohol than coffee.  :)  

Tomorrow is the hubby and my 3rd anniversay!!  Holy cow, we're both still alive! hehehe.

Oh and I ordered an iPh*ne 4S.  :D I shall have the precious.  I've wanted an iPh*ne since they came out but have always been on veriz*on family plan, which is too good of a deal to switch.  But now...  yay!!

But that's all I have for now. just a quick check in.  And a quick doggy pic!


<3
Sam

Happy Birthday to me! a Weigh in, and a Doggy!

So, yesterday was my birthday.  32.   I feel like I'm getting old-ish.  But it's nice when people at work are saying they would have guessed closer to 22.  Hopefully they're not just being nice. I'd be awesome to have my Mom's genes.  She's 59 and looks late 40's/early 50's.

Weigh in day is going to stay on sunday's.  It's easy.  today was 230.2.  or 5 minutes later it was 231.3.  I'm going with the one I took a picture of.  And I stepped on the scale twice for each weight.   Ah well.  Either way is a  loss!

Also, on friday Chris and I brought home Charlie!  he's our new doggie.  We got him from one of the shelters in the area..ish.  It was about an hour drive. But when I saw his pic online, I was all "awwwwwwwww" and then i showed it to Chris and he was all "awwwwwwwww" .. So yay!  he's 9 months old and a Austrialian Shepherd mix.  He's so pretty.  I'm going to put a photo or two up, but there's more on my facebook if you want to friend me (NOT a desperate plea for friends ;)  )

That's enough for now I think

<3
Sam

A short treatise on Port pain, jealousy, and speed.

Not a whole lot going on.  Worked 12 hours today. Someone called in sick, so I stayed over for half a shift.  Nothing says fun like time and a half! Of course this means I didn't get to eat dinner until 8:30 or so.  Ah well, I'm pretty sure tomorrows weigh in isn't going to be spectacular.

So in regards to the title.  Port pain.  I don't know (although I'm hoping and assuming) if it's because I tend to sleep on my front left side, but today the area around my port is really hurty.  But it's  from the inside.  So if I move a certain way it hurts, but if I poke it, not so much.  Is this normal? should I be running to my surgeon? I just don't know.  I suppose best bet is to wait and see how it is in the next couple of days (which is what I'm doing with my elbow, which has been hurting for weeks).

I'm just falling apart! Oy!

Let's see, Jealousy.  I just found out my friend who got her band 2+ years ago is getting a tummy tuck in November.  While I'm happy for her, I'm also jealous as all get out.   I KNOW I'm going to need one (and prolly the ta-ta's too) my pannus is very disgusting and blah, and there's no way that's just going to shrink up and in and be all pretty.  BUT unless something amazing happens on the job/lotto/relative i don't know or care about dying front (I kid, I kid!) I'm so not going to be able to afford either of those surgeries.  And during the pre-surgery class I asked if Kaiser ever deemed skin removal surgery "medically necessary"  I was told no.  I've seen other answers on the Internet, but most of those are either out in California (so different system sort of) or from 2+ years ago.  I suppose since I'm only a few months out from surgery I could start saving $$.. but that never works out as planned.  I'll figure something out, I'm sure. (probably just learn to live with blah)

Last but not least, Speed.  I remember reading that the majority of weight lost with the band takes place in the first 8-ish months.  Is this really true?  Do I need to get my rear in gear if I ever want to see 170 (or less)??  I'm not terribly upset with how fast I'm losing, although when I created my stats page the other day, I realized I'd lost less since my surgery than I had thought. 30lbs in 4 months instead of the 40-45 like I had been thinking.  This makes me worried I'm going to be one of the "failures"  .. I suppose the only solution to that is to get my butt moving!  Zumba tomorrow!  

This is long and ranty enough, to ta-ta for now!
<3  Sam

p.s.  If any of you win the lotto think of me, and my future surgeries and current need for a personal trainer!! ;)

love ya!

Emotions

Nothing too deep or insightful today.  I think I'm just amused with the emotions I'm having with this weight-loss.  They're not what I would have expected.    I mean .. I'm almost dreading the day when my wedding/engagement rings won't fit.  That day is soon.  I know part of that is I have a bad habit of imagining what other people are thinking about me.  And for a long time I was imagining "oh the poor fat girl will never have anybody" .. even though I DID have someone, lacking the visible proof I assumed everyone thought I was alone.

I'm also .. annoyed that my pants are getting too big.  I'm happy, but at the same time.. annoyed when i have to hike them up.

The obvious weirdness is the "OMG I've lost 60lbs from my highest ever!!" which then swings to "OMG I've got another 60lbs (or more) to lose, I'll never do that"

I know I had a few other examples in my head a few minutes ago, but they flitted away. So I think I'll leave you with the statement that somehow I expected all "Happy Happy Joy Joy" and am confused by the other feelings leaking in.

<3
Sam

p.s.  bananas hurt :(