Stalled

This is me. I need a push.  I am so stalled/dissapointed/frustrated right now.  And the crappy thing is, as much as I don't want it to, the push I need, the encouragement, the movement, it all has to come from me (not that I don't love and appreciate you all).

How is it that I KNOW these things, but it seems to do me no good?  This last week or two (in which i have been conspicuously absent, commenting, but not blogging) .. have been blah.  Bad food choices. Too much food. "Measuring? what's that?"  Yesterday for example. I wasn't really hungry all day (dunno why) .. but ended up eating a whole bacon cheeseburger (no bun) for dinner.  I could have probably gotten away with nussing.. or at the least just a quarter of it. But Head said "that looks good, you must eat it!" so I did.

My head is evil.  I get bored, I want to eat.  So I do.  It took me 3 days after saying I would to actually unpack my gym bag.  And the next day I forget to put it in my car.  My weight hasn't gone up.. but it hasn't really gone down either.  This just discourages me, which sends me into my cycle of "nothings working, why bother trying" ..  I KNOW this.. but somehow am not got at stopping this cycle once it starts.

I just need to do it.  It being exercise.  IT being measure my food, and stop after a cup (I'm pretty sure I won't be hungry after that).  IT being drink water at home.  IT being stop making excuses.. Sure I left my gym bag at home, but it's all of 8 minutes from my house to the gym, no reason I couldn't have gotten my stuff and then gone.   Sure I ate crap yesterday (and too much of it) but that doesn't mean I should eat crap today.

Each day is a new day and the only person who chooses what kind of day it will be is me.  Time for me to grow a pair and make it what I want it to be.  (Although if I could borrow a few of Draz's skittles and rainbows that'd be awesome!)

<3,
Sam

and the results are....

dun dun duuunnnnn

better than I expected, not as good as I hoped.  I think I'm back down to where I was 2 weeks ago (and have been hovering all week).  thank you stuck/pb episode?  time for work.. blech.

<3,
Sam

Uhg

Blah.

So today was craptastic in terms of food.   Breakfast was a starbucks strawberry smoothie.  I'm okay with that. It's sorta been my go-to breakfast lately.  It's 280 cal and 15g protein.  Not the best, but better than other choices, and it usually keeps me full till lunch.
But then!!! I had a greek yogurt for a snack.  And for lunch I had some sushi (Philadelphia rolls) AND some popcorn chicken from the grocery store...  I was (obviously) way full after that.. but ordered dinner around 6 anyways.  Hubby is out with friends, so I figured I'd try one of the chinese places around, I have to find a new one now.  So I order.. and wait 2 hours, which actually was kind of good.  That meant I was hungry by the time food got here.  So I take a bite of my crab-meat cheese wonton/crab rangoon (I figured they're crunchy, I'd be fine) .. and OMG STUCK.  like OW.  And .. PB.  it happened.  sliming.. burping, and a little bit coming up.  I'm soooo glad I was home alone.  Otherwise Hubby would so be all "I told you not to eat that!" *sigh*  Good thing I ordered some soup too, since that's all I ended up eating.

I think that was my bands way of saying "hey dipshit, you ate enough at lunch to feed yourself for 2 days, you don't need dinner!"

Blah.  So I'm predicting another not so steller weigh in tomorrow, but such is life.
Time to go beat some sense into my head.  It needs to learn to listen to my stomach more in regards to hungry vs. not hungry.

<3,
Sam

By popular demand..

Dress pics.  Please excuse the mess.  My room is in a state of explosion mostly due to unpacking.
Also keep in mind the current dress pics are lacking the spanks, tights, shoes and belt from the prior picture.  Let me know, I'm not sure I can tell a difference.

And then I need to figure out a quick way to make to drastically different sized pictures into one same sized picture so i can do side by side.

Also, work is being EVIL today.  People have brought in donuts, bagels, and CAKE.  and when I said maybe to cake, they went and brought me a piece! It's still sitting on my desk un-eaten.  but UGH.  EVIL.  :)

<3, Sam

I hate when my head and real life don't match

So I was going through my Sister-in-law's facebook looking at their wedding photos.  They got married this past December.  I came across this picture with me in it ... and I don't remember looking THAT fat.  *sigh* ..

Of course now I want to run downstairs, put on that dress, and see how it/I look now.. Maybe tomorrow.

<3,
Sam

Survey Time!

Time to share!



1. What is your occupation right now ?
Fingerprint Identification Technician for the Denver PD.   Sounds way cooler and more exciting than it actually is
2.What color are your socks right now?
White.  boring. I'm a big fan of fun sucks.. but they're not very "professional". :P
3. What are you listening to right now? 
the typing of hardworking people.. or me blogging.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? 
Honestly? *sigh*  I had the last bit of M&M's from going to see a movie on Sunday.

 
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Yup. I learned on one, currently drive one, and actually prefer it
 
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? 
My mommy.

7. Do you like the person you stole this blog from? 
Yup.  Although with the number of people who have done this, I"m not sure I stole it from any one person
8. How old are you today? 
31

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
Football
10. What is your favorite drink?
Iced Tea (un-sweetened) with lemon. 
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? 
All the time.  I actually need to now, lots of grey showing (thanks mom and dad for that)

12. Favorite food? 
Mexican! 

13. What is the last movie you watched?
In the theater was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 2.
At home it was Hot Tub Time Machine

14. Favorite day of the year? 
hmmm..  Any day not at work.

15. How do you vent anger?
I'll usually either vent to my Hubby (who tells me he's tired of hearing about the stupid i put up with at work) or vent to my Mom.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Legos

17. What is your favorite season? 
Probably either Fall or spring. Mostly for the lack of snow on the roads and lack of 90+ degree weather (so I guess spring is out, Fall wins!)

18. Cherries or Blueberries? 
Blueberries

19. Do you want your friends to blog this survey? 
Go right ahead! it's fun

20. Where is you favorite place to escape?My new big ol' bath tub and a book
21. Favorite Tv Show?
currently watching Glee.  Love it way more than I thought I would. But my favorite right now is Castle! Love me some Nathan Fillion! 
22. Living arrangements?
Just bought our house a couple of weeks ago! Me, my hubby and three kitties


23. When was the last time you cried? 
A couple of days ago.  Fighty time with the hubby and I was frustrated.  All is well now.

24. What is on the floor of your closet? 
Shoes! and cat fur.

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest?
Probably my friend Allison.  She's far away now, and we don't talk that much, but when we do it's the same.

26. What did you do last night? 
honestly >.>  skinny dipped in the hot tub   

27. What are you most afraid of?
 financial disaster I think.

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? 
mmm cheeseburger.  Sounds so yummy

29. Favorite dog breed?
I really want a Corgi!

30. Favorite day of the week? 
Sunday/monday. My weekend!

31. How many states have you lived in? 
Technically two.  I was born in Missouri, but moved to Colorado when I was 9 months old. 

32. Diamonds or pearls? 
Diamonds! Chics dig Sparklies!

33. What is your favorite flower?
hmm.  I've never really thought about it much. 

Tuesday is my Monday :(

Nobody knows where my Sunday has gone
Monday left the same time
Why was he holding her hand
When he's supposed to be mine

It's my Monday, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if your weekend left you!


Yeah, it's my Monday :P  .. but all weekends must come to an end.    All things considered it was a good weekend though.
  

That was my Sunday morning weigh in.  Up about a pound from last weeks.  However by this morning, I was down to 242.8. so we're moving the right way again.  huzzah!  hmm..  and that's about all i have so far.  It's now time to spend the next several hours catching up with you all.  I can't wait till I have internet at home again (tomorrow!!)

<3, 

Sam